Safe Homes Helps Parents Keep Track of Teens
Parents with pre-teens and teens often find it challenging to keep track of their kids' social activities - where they are, who they're with, and what they're up to.
Ten years ago, to help Talbot parents monitor their teens and minimize their opportunities to drink alcohol and use tobacco and illegal drugs, the Talbot County Health Department, the Talbot County Public Schools and Talbot Partnership for Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Prevention established "Safe Homes." Safe Homes is designed to help parents connect with each other and communicate about the whereabouts and activities of children in late middle school and high school.
Invitations reach parents of middle and high school students
Every year, as summer ends, a letter that describes the program and invites parents to enroll by signing and returning the Safe Homes Pledge form) is mailed to Talbot County students in the sixth through 12th grades. In 2003, the invitation includes parents of sixth and seventh graders as well as parents of older teens. "We used to invite parents of high school student and eighth graders, but studies show that exposure to tobacco, alcohol and drug use begins in early middle school for many kids, so it we felt we should expand the list to reach parents sooner," says Janet Pfeffer, Partnership director.
Connie Loveland, of Easton, has found that Safe Homes is an effective parenting tool. "Once your kids reach 13 or 14, you're in new territory," says the mother of two teens. "They form new friendships and start making their own social plans, including how they get from one place to another, so it gets harder to keep up with where they are and who they're with. Of course they don't want Mom or Dad babying them, which makes it a challenge to give them enough independence but not too much freedom."
Part of the problem, some parents feel, is simply not knowing other parents. "If you don't know the family, you can't be sure that the 'house rules' are compatible with yours," Loveland points out. "Do they tolerate smoking by those under 18? Do they make sure an adult is present if there is a party at the house? Some parents think it's okay to let teenagers drink as long as they don't drive, and may even supply the beer. But parents in Safe Homes agree to adhere to the law, so you feel more confident that on their premises, teen conduct is being monitored to prevent smoking, drinking and drug use."
The two major components of Safe Homes are a pledge form to be signed by parents and a directory that is distributed to all who sign. Signing makes a clear statement to your teens regarding expectations and rules for their conduct - not only in your house, but also in the homes of their friends.
E-mail addresses now included
"It's nice to be able to look up a name in the directory and see whether a family has joined Safe Homes," says Janet Pfeffer, director of Talbot Partnership, "but we still encourage parents to 'make the call' to ensure that a party or outing is going to be supervised." The directory includes many e-mail addresses as well as phone numbers, which makes it easy for parents to get in touch with each other.
For more information, contact Talbot Partnership, 410/819-8067, safehomes@talbotpartnership.org.
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